requiemforkingsmouthfandomcom-20200213-history
Liam Beckett
On an average day, I wake up around three in the afternoon and I roll off someone’s couch. I don’t even know whose couch most of the times. Others like me probably, drug addled minds, people who couldn’t see past their next hit. I didn’t start out like this, though. No one does. I had hopes and dreams. I believed in things. I was in grade three when I was adopted and became a mixed drink of one part left alone and two parts tragedy. I started therapy ninth grade and they thought the cure for my depression could be found in the contents of a first aid kit. I lived like the uphills were mountains and the downhills were cliffs. I tried to kill myself in grade eleven went I thought that it would never get better. All those thoughts of what could have been, those hopes and dreams I had were buried by a tidal wave of antidepressants. I was surrounded by people but when I got told to “get over it” as if it was that easy. I realized I was alone. I would call myself fairly attractive yet somehow I was still the some that got beaten in school. I was surrounded by people who said that adage about sticks and stones, as if broken bones hurt more than the names I got call and I got called them all. So I grew up no one would ever care about me so I tried to empty myself so I would feel nothing. Don’t tell me that hurts less than a broken bone. Than an ingrown life is something surgeons can cut away, that there is no way for it to metastasize. It does. I was juggling depression and loneliness, playing solitaire spin the bottle trying to kiss the wounded parts of ourselves and heal. I got picked last for all teams and was beaten at recess to the point I’d bring bruises and broken teeth to show and tell but I never told because how could I hold my ground if everyone around me wanted to bury me beneath it. Teachers would turn their backs and say things like kids can be cruel. Beautiful excuse. Defend the bad behaviors. I made it through school with average grades. It was the best I could do with so much going on in my head. I am a stick of TNT lit from both ends. I can describe to you in detail the way the sky bends and the moments before it’s about to fall. Sometimes, becoming drug free has less to do with addiction and more to do with sanity. I am not sane now and nor do I try to pretend to be. I won’t be quiet about what I am. I’m a whore. I fuck to get money for drugs. Those drugs stop the pain. They make the world seem less like a pain and more like ...quiet. If I can live my life quietly without making waves, I’m happy. That’s all I ask for. I know how to defend myself, I’m not a victim. Not anymore. People Saster Master ~ Well what the hell... live for as long as my mouth doesn't screw up? No different than the streets. Really difference is that this way when I die, hopefully they do that teeth thing. He's a little mercurial and I never know what I'm going to get. I know the rules now though but I still don't wanna step foot in his world. If they are anything like him...I'm screwed. I love him though. God damn blood tie. Can't help it and I love it. Tie that all over me. Like rope. Tying ropes. Daddy Issues ~ He lost something important and I can see how it broke him. I am going to find a way to get it back to him and then I will destroy what took it cause I don't want it to happen again. I really hope it's a necklace or something.... or like... a bong. Like all other parent figures... fucking gone from my life. Abandoning me to go else where. Well screw you too. Rhodes ~ Guy is trying to help. I can see that. I just can't join the two pieces together. I'm a business guy and he's trying to be nice but that doesn't always work. I'll work out at his gym though! I like looking at him. Red head ~ Well, what they say about red-heads is true. She's temperamental. I barely said anything and she snapped. Yet, when Rhodes told her to watch me she was nice. Felt... not genuine but eh. I don't care. She wasn't rude at that point. Personal Bubble Violator ~ She was there and then she wasn't. Gallery LiamH02.jpg LiamH03.jpg LiamH04.jpg LiamH05.jpg LiamH06.jpg LiamH07.jpg LiamH01.jpg Category:Street Category:Ghoul